Itchy /Itching

...all over. I think/hope it's that St. Ives bodywash. Always knew that stuff was cheap-ass! Unless I have fleas, which is a real problem.

I'd like to sleep except I can't; I'm very excited. If I were less lazy I would draw something, but it's midnight and im laying down, twisted like a pretzel with my comforter as a makeshift desk.

I'm going to Pakistan in a few days. I don't really know why I'm so excited. It's likely just the anticipation of the trip itself, but it's always so weird going back there; like it should all be familiar but it's not. It's always a shock.

I'm going for my first cousin's wedding, whom I don't even know well at all (though recently the powers of Facebook united us). It's my mother's sister's daughter, which I guess means she's kind of supposed to be like a sister, except not at all in this case. It may be awkward at times but nothing beats dressing up and really being a part of a wedding. Mostly I want to enjoy this too, live vicariously in a way, because I'm not suited for that big, traditional wedding. I think I gave that up a while ago, probably when my parents got divorced because I never could envision them exchanging pleasantries on "my big day". Probably also because I'm dating a Dominican/Catholic. Probably for a lot of other reasons too.

***

Summer is always exciting. New things form in the spring and manifest in the warmer weather, it seems.

1- Last year it was graduating college, getting a job and moving home. This spring, I fought myself (and my mother, just a little) and went for what I wanted. I am moving in with my boyfriend of many years; we signed a lease for an apartment. It's making me nervous and excited.

2- I am going on this pretty much all expenses vacation to the Pak for two weeks (i.e., getting away from NYC).

3- I am starting part-time graduate work this fall, which on top of 9-5 work, will keep me very busy.

I guess that's it, really.

How anticlimactic.