Itchy /Itching

...all over. I think/hope it's that St. Ives bodywash. Always knew that stuff was cheap-ass! Unless I have fleas, which is a real problem.

I'd like to sleep except I can't; I'm very excited. If I were less lazy I would draw something, but it's midnight and im laying down, twisted like a pretzel with my comforter as a makeshift desk.

I'm going to Pakistan in a few days. I don't really know why I'm so excited. It's likely just the anticipation of the trip itself, but it's always so weird going back there; like it should all be familiar but it's not. It's always a shock.

I'm going for my first cousin's wedding, whom I don't even know well at all (though recently the powers of Facebook united us). It's my mother's sister's daughter, which I guess means she's kind of supposed to be like a sister, except not at all in this case. It may be awkward at times but nothing beats dressing up and really being a part of a wedding. Mostly I want to enjoy this too, live vicariously in a way, because I'm not suited for that big, traditional wedding. I think I gave that up a while ago, probably when my parents got divorced because I never could envision them exchanging pleasantries on "my big day". Probably also because I'm dating a Dominican/Catholic. Probably for a lot of other reasons too.

***

Summer is always exciting. New things form in the spring and manifest in the warmer weather, it seems.

1- Last year it was graduating college, getting a job and moving home. This spring, I fought myself (and my mother, just a little) and went for what I wanted. I am moving in with my boyfriend of many years; we signed a lease for an apartment. It's making me nervous and excited.

2- I am going on this pretty much all expenses vacation to the Pak for two weeks (i.e., getting away from NYC).

3- I am starting part-time graduate work this fall, which on top of 9-5 work, will keep me very busy.

I guess that's it, really.

How anticlimactic.

8 days a week

Is not enough to show I care.

"Don't Be Ridiculous."

Lord, this is a BFTP. I remember watching this sometimes, never understood why the cranky American cousin was always so uptight. I remember feeling that if someone as fun as Balki ever came to live with me, I would always be happy and have a reason to smile.

***
This is also ridiculous. I made it sometime last week when I was desperate to make something, anything, colorful and completely stupid.



click to enlarge
John Abraham? Yez pleez.

Today was Monday. I was extremely grumpy and in denial that it was the beginning of another week and I remained in a haze most of the day. This was partly because I was in Funroe all weekend, playing in the hills and hullahooping and walking in the sun and being gluttonous and all of those wonderful things. My rude awakening came in the form of a sharp pang of disgust I felt being back on a subway after three days. YUCK, I say.

The only thing that got me through the day was my guilty read (Unaccustomed Earth)--yet another book about 2nd genners. It's basically a bunch of stories all about the intimate and fragmented pieces of family relationships (The Things That Go Unsaid), always with that overdone desi twist (just that the label of "Bengali" is used over and over, for something that can be applied to any desis, I think). It's interesting to think of the way Amy Tan writes books (exciting & extremely engaging) versus Lahiri, who writes about the mundane almost exclusively. I guess the main difference would be Tan writes novels and Lahiri is more of a short story writer, so that's the main thing. Short stories are more like sketches. Even though Tan uses the same subject matter, she is such a skilled storyteller that I could read her always. UE is a guilty read because I feel like I can't not read it (it's the equivalent of Archie comics when I was 12). Anyway, it's basically a bunch of stories about Gogol Gangulies approaching middle age and married to white people. I still like it, I appreciate the characters she draws (despite the mention of Park Slope stroller posses in the first story, not cool).

***
I am going to Pakistan in 3.5 weeks or something like that and I am utterly too excited for wearing pretty clothes and getting my hair did and mehndi and being actually legitimately a part of a big fat desi wedding. Also, 15 days away from my desk is enough incentive for me to travel just about anywhere with anyone and do anything in anyplace.

***
Why am I still awake. Damn you wet hair.